From Acquaintances to Allies: Building Your Success Network

Hi there, happy Thursday!

Welcome to another issue of the Network Wrangler. We’re celebrating issue number 💥 TEN! 💥 Here’s what we’re covering today:

• How do friends mix within your Inner Circle?

• Virtual coffee chats to diversify your network

• Asking AI to help evaluate your network’s strength

Can you help me grow? Please forward this newsletter to two people you think would appreciate the content. Thank you!

MANAGE: Beyond Friendship - Defining Your Inner Circle for Success

Navigating through life's journey can often feel like a complex maze, underscoring the critical role of choosing the right companions. This goes beyond the simplicity of friendship or companionship; it's about intentionally surrounding ourselves with a core group that propels our personal and professional growth.

Yes, we’re talking about the Inner Circle, a select group that transcends traditional friendship bounds to significantly influence our journey toward success.

The Inner Circle isn't just any collection of friends or acquaintances. It represents an intentionally chosen group of individuals who exemplify the ideals, accomplishments, and qualities we aim to embody in our own lives. They are the mentors who offer wisdom, the peers who present challenges, the visionaries who provide inspiration, and the supporters who give us comfort. Each member acts as a reflection of our potential, guiding us toward achieving self-fulfillment and success.

A reader's question over the weekend [note: I love reader feedback] prompted an interesting reflection: "How do you differentiate a friend from an Inner Circle member? Can they overlap?" Indeed, friends can be part of your Inner Circle, but frequent interaction with someone doesn't automatically qualify them for this special group.

The key difference is the impact they have on our growth. Friends might be chosen for their company and shared interests, but Inner Circle members are selected for their positive influence on our development, their ability to motivate us, and their alignment with our values and goals. This is a deliberate choice to be surrounded by individuals who push us to raise our standards, broaden our horizons, and achieve our utmost potential.

Crafting your Inner Circle starts with self-reflection and a clear vision of what you want to achieve. It requires a critical look at your current relationships and their effects on your life, asking yourself:

• Do these people inspire you?

• Do they encourage you to think more expansively and act more courageously?

• Are they embodiments of the success and values you're chasing?

If the answers are no, it may be time to rethink your circle and make space for those who say yes to these questions.

Drawing the right individuals into your Inner Circle also means becoming someone they'd want to associate with. It's about embodying the traits you seek, being eager to learn, and actively supporting others' successes. As you evolve, so too will your Inner Circle, mirroring changes in your ambitions and accomplishments.

Curating your Inner Circle is a continuous effort to ensure your relationships are in harmony with who and where you want to be. It's about acknowledging the profound impact the closest people have on your life's path. By choosing these individuals wisely, you enrich your journey, ensuring every step forward is aligned with reaching your highest potential and success.

GROW: Virtual coffee chats FTW

My primary goal in networking the first half of this year is to diversify my network, so I’m doing everything possible to meet intelligent, successful people working in industries distinct from those I already know.

(My secondary goal is to warm up old/cold connections, so stay tuned for more on that front.)

Thanks to a confluence of events, my network includes connections mostly anywhere but the Bay Area, where I live. My role pre-COVID was running a global partnerships program, so I focused on networking with people outside the USA, letting my domestic connections cool off.

Yes, there are so many networking events at the end of the business day here in the Bay Area, but with my third-grade daughter living with me half-time, I can’t always make it to the events that align with my interests.

So, it’s more about virtual events instead. There are so many of them, and it’s easy to find the ones that diversify my interests. I have to say, though, the group events leave something to be desired for chitchat and connecting in the waiting rooms. Even the Facebook groups that are created in support of these events feel overcrowded and more hype-focused than connection-making.

Luckily, my friend (and former coworker) Heather sent me an invite to Lunchclub last month. Lunchclub is a social platform that purports to use AI and machine learning to connect users for one-on-one virtual meetings. It was founded in 2017, and took off in 2020 with the addition of video chats (thanks, COVID).

While users create their own profiles and express who they’re interested in meeting, the platform matches people together using that self-reported data plus publicly available data plus recommendations from other users.

So far with Lunchclub, I’ve been pleasantly surprised with the half-dozen connections I’ve met. The matching algorithm has hit the spot of connecting me to interesting people who are either in an adjacent industry or a similar phase of business-building as me. I’ve also been impressed by the small-world effect in over half my virtual coffees.

But, instead of calling it small-world, I like to think it’s attributable to the “it’s crowded at the top” effect. 😃 

When was the last time you intentionally carved out time to connect with someone new, one-on-one, online?

If you’re interested in an invite to Lunchclub, hit me up. I get no financial reward for the recommendation. I believe it’s a useful way to grow the diversity of your network, and you should give it a try.

INSPIRE: More AI prompts for networking

I appreciate the positive feedback on last week’s AI prompts (you know who you are).

This week’s iteration gives both a prompt and a high-level summary of the response (ChatGPT-4) to inspire you to iterate and craft your own prompts.

Strength-of-network Prompt:

Acting as a networking expert who is insightful and creative, recommend a strategy to identify the strength of connections in their network and offer ways to make 
the connections stronger.

Quick Summary of ChatGPT-4’s Strength-of-Network Response:

To effectively identify the strength of connections in your network and find ways to make these connections stronger, you can use a comprehensive strategy that includes assessment, planning, and action steps. Here’s how:

1. Mapping Your Network: Create a visual map of your current network. Use categories like industry, relationship strength, and type.

2. Assessing Relationship Strength: For each connection, assess the relationship's strength based on the specific criteria.

3. Identifying Areas of Growth: Look for patterns or gaps in your network map.

4. Setting Goals: Set specific, measurable goals for strengthening your network.

5. Engaging and Strengthening: Implement targeted actions to strengthen selected connections, such as reaching out, offering value, and hosting/attending meetups.

6. Review and Adjust: Periodically review your network map and the goals you've set.

(Thomas again) This response resonates well with my decades of experience managing my own networks.

If you’re interested in the full response and don’t have access to ChatGPT-4, hit reply, and I’ll send the whole thing your way. FWIW, it includes specific activities in each of the above 6 recommendations.

Got another prompt you’d like me to craft and share? let me know! Think AI is hallucinating? Happy to hear that, too.

SCROLL: This Week’s Quick Hits

• How to Build Your Reputation So that You’re Overwhelmed with Opportunities - a deep dive into two principles Scott Stockdale lives by: 1) Live with integrity and 2) Opportunities will present themselves when you put in the work. (Medium - subscription required)

• How to Master the Art of Small Talk - a guide to having interesting conversations with strangers. [TK note: and create new connections!] (Vox)

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That’s all for this week. See you next Thursday!

— Thomas

PS: Heads-up, March 21 is my next available date for coaching. We might be a good fit if you know you need to reconnect with those old and cold connections in your network and want to make 2024 the year you harness the power of all your connections.

I work with clients to:

• audit existing networks

• identify gaps and opportunities

• gracefully prune connections

• create new connections

Just reply to this email if you want to know more.

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