How to Change Your Luck for the Better

creating a lucky network around you

Hi there, happy Thursday!

Welcome to issue #28 of the Network Wrangler. Here in the United States, the calendar says it’s 7-11, so celebrate by getting a free Slurpee! (yes, it’s 7-Eleven Day!)

I’ve had a string of good luck lately, and it’s time to come clean on how I’ve been stacking the decks in my favor so you can do the same. Here’s what we’re covering today:

  • How to Change Your Luck for the Better

  • Ways to Create a Lucky Network Around You

Just Your (Good) Luck!

I’m a lucky person, and luck has played an outsized role in getting me to where I am today.

Mind you, it hasn’t all been good luck. I’ve had some bad luck moments that momentarily set me back or just plain knocked me off a path to success.

But I’d be lying by omission if I didn’t acknowledge how much luck has played a part in landing me at this keyboard, in this space, typing to you today.

In 1996, I worked at an ad agency outside Washington, DC, and one afternoon, my Mac crashed while rendering a complex image in Photoshop (back then, it was a 20-minute process). That bad luck moment sent me outside to walk off my frustration. On that walk, I ran into a group of young smokers hovering outside a nondescript red brick building and struck up a conversation with them (yes, I bummed a smoke, too). They turned out to be working at an up-and-coming startup named America Online, and just a few months later, I joined their ranks at the start of AOL’s meteoric rise (that’s good luck!).

Flash forward to February 2003 and the promised synergies of AOL’s acquisition of Time Warner at the turn of the century had instead flamed out spectacularly. I worked in a group reporting directly to the CEO and was informed that he’d be stepping down at the end of Q2, and our team would be disbanded when he did (bad luck). A few months later, I was attending a conference in Oakland, CA, still looking for my next gig. At the lunch break, I sat at an empty table and was joined shortly thereafter by the guy who’d hire me just two months later to move my family out to the Bay Area and start my career at Omidyar Network (that’s good luck!).

I could go on, but you get the point. I’m a lucky guy. Really.

I used to think that luck was only accurately observed in the rearview mirror (see stories above). But through my research, I’ve come to understand that there are concrete things we can all do to increase our (good) luck.

What Stoicism has to say about luck piqued my curiosity, but I needed more than just a philosophy of turning bad luck into good luck.

Enter Richard Wiseman, a Professor of the Public Understanding of Psychology at the University of Hertfordshire in the UK. Professor Wiseman has been studying luck extensively over a number of years. He’s interviewed and experimented both with very lucky people who seem to live a charmed existence and with unlucky folks who live under the proverbial dark cloud that follows them around.

Wiseman’s findings are further proof that we make choices to wallow in (and create) our own bad luck or we lead ourselves in a way that attracts the “lucky” breaks in our lives.

In his book, The Luck Factor: Change Your Luck and Change Your Life, Wiseman outlines four principles defining lucky people. As part of his practice, he created a “Luck School” and used these principles to retrain almost 80% of his unlucky subjects to reverse their fortune, dismiss their dark cloud, and attract good luck. Just their luck!

Wiseman’s principles align nicely with good leadership practices, which makes me think there’s an outsized element of the process to simply leading yourself to good luck instead of waiting for it to find you. The four principles (in bold) are below, with my commentary (in italics):

  • engage others in conversations and social interaction - luck happens at the intersection of fortunes, so get out of your bubble and interact with others.

  • listen to your intuition and trust hunches - this has taken me decades to overcome my bias towards logical and rational approaches to decision-making, but luck isn’t logical.

  • develop positive expectations about the future - research shows that those with a positive outlook on growing old live 7.5 years longer than those who have a negative outlook. And we’re all growing old.

  • strengthen resilience and persistence to eventually turn bad luck into good - Our lives are full of silver linings. Sometimes it simply takes sitting with the uncomfortable/unfortunate to be able to find the opportunity hidden within.  

Want something lucky you can implement today?

I invite you to reclaim good luck as your default state.

Most of us have learned that “just my luck” only applies when something bad happens. You can almost see the person smacking their forehead as they mutter the phrase.

It’s time to turn that all around. And the process is simple, but the habit change is difficult. (But so worth it!)

Retrain yourself to claim good luck as “just your luck.” So, the next time something unexpected and good happens to you, say, “Just my luck!” When something unfortunate happens, just shake your head and resist the urge to comment.

I’ve been doing this since the turn of the year, and you know, in small but noticeable ways, I’ve seen more good luck come into my life on a regular basis.

Just my luck.

Photo by cottonbro

How to Create a Lucky Network

Now that we’ve talked about how to lead a more charmed life, it’s time to turn our attention to spreading this phenomenon into our networks to broaden its impact.

Our success isn't guaranteed, regardless of intelligence, passion, or analysis, due to uncontrollable external factors like market shifts and unexpected issues. How many entrepreneurs and early-stage founders got knocked off course when COVID hit in 2020? It’s these UKVs (unforeseen killer variables) that are always lurking and ready to pounce, especially in the fragile early days of starting something new.

Anthony K. Tjan found when doing research for the book "Heart, Smarts, Guts, and Luck" that many entrepreneurs credit their success to luck, with 25% identifying as Luck-dominant (only Heart-dominant was more common). He also found that this luck isn't random but often created through a "Lucky Attitude," characterized by humility, intellectual curiosity, and optimism.

Mind you, Tjan’s work was published a decade before Wiseman’s research, so he wasn’t just cribbing Wiseman’s work in arriving at these characteristics of a Lucky Attitude.

Tjan then proposed that to convert this attitude into actual success, building a "Lucky Network" is crucial. And wouldn’t you know it, this lucky network is formed through vulnerability, authenticity, generosity, and openness, facilitating serendipitous connections.

Tjan found that successful entrepreneurs often build relationships naturally and generously, creating opportunities that might seem coincidental but are the result of their mindset and approach to networking.

Just the kind of networking approach we love here at the Network Wrangler, so here are some insights on how you can shape your networking skills to create more luck through your network.

  1. Cultivate Humility:
    Approach networking with the belief that there’s always something new to learn. This openness can lead to unexpected opportunities. Learn to say, “I don’t know,” and do it liberally.

  2. Foster Intellectual Curiosity:
    Engage in diverse experiences and conversations. This broadens your perspective and increases the chances of serendipitous encounters. Leverage the Connector in your Inner Circle to introduce you to new people you otherwise wouldn’t seek out on your own.

  3. Maintain Optimism:
    Focus on the potential positives of new ventures and relationships. Optimism can drive you to pursue and believe in opportunities others might overlook. While you don’t have to respond, “Amazing!” whenever anyone asks how you are, you do have to notice whether you’ve got a pessimistic gut reaction to things and rid yourself of that nasty habit.

  4. Build Authentic Relationships:
    This is just Relationship Building 101. Be curious! Form connections based on genuine interest and generosity. Authentic relationships are more likely to yield unexpected benefits as you get to know the many textures and layers that make up those close connections in your network.

  5. Be Vulnerable and Open:
    How do you treat others when they’re vulnerable and open with you? I’m pretty sure, as a reader of this newsletter, you do it with compassion and empathy. Why would you expect anything less from others? Show your true self and be open to new people and ideas. This openness will be a magnet for valuable connections and opportunities. Just your luck!

  6. Embrace Serendipity:
    This is a lesson it took me way too long to learn. I used to pride myself on being efficient and cramming in as much as (in)humanly possible into a day. But I’ve now learned to allow room for unplanned interactions, and so should you. Attend events, join groups, and engage in activities where you can meet diverse people (especially when your Connector is not available).

So, by adopting these six principles, you can enhance your social network's ability to create luck, increasing your chances of encountering and capitalizing on opportunities that might otherwise be missed.

Let me know whether you think your luck is, on balance, good or bad? And what are you going to do about it?

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