Companionship on the Clock

How to Build Connection Without Adding Anything to Your Schedule

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Photo by Nicola Barts

Hi there, it’s Thomas.

There’s a reason we’re called social animals.

You can be folding laundry, walking to the corner store, or commuting in bumper-to-bumper traffic, and research shows you’ll enjoy almost all of it more if you’re doing it with someone else.

A large-scale study published in Social Psychological and Personality Science examined over 100,000 instances of daily activity and found a striking pattern: people consistently reported being happier doing nearly any task alongside another person, compared to doing it alone. From grocery shopping to paying bills to taking out the trash, social interaction boosted the perceived enjoyment of the activity, even when the task itself didn’t change.

Let’s pause on that.

Even traditionally solo or “boring” activities (like cleaning or commuting) became more pleasurable when someone else was involved. In fact, the only task that saw a dip in happiness when done together (in just one study year) was… kitchen cleanup. And honestly, that might say more about unspoken roommate dynamics than it does about social connection. If I had a dime for every time we argued over how to load the dishwasher…

So what’s going on here?

The Science Behind the Boost

Social psychologist Elizabeth Dunn, who co-authored the study, wasn’t surprised that social interaction mattered, but even she was taken aback by how much it mattered. Pair that with insights from Nicholas Epley at the University of Chicago, whose work on “undersociality” shows we dramatically underestimate how much joy even small social moments bring, and it becomes clear:

We are consistently leaving happiness on the table by doing life alone.

This echoes a wider body of research in sociology and psychology: from Robert Putnam’s classic Bowling Alone (2000), which warns of social disconnection, to more recent studies showing that strong and diverse social ties are linked to longer life expectancy, lower stress, and better mental health.

But here’s the problem: we live busy lives. And while we might want more companionship, it’s not always easy to add another meeting, dinner, or get-together to an already packed calendar.

The good news? You don’t have to overhaul your schedule to add meaningful connection. More on how after a word from this week’s sponsor…

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5 Simple Ways to Add Companionship Without Adding Time

  1. Parallel Play Isn’t Just for Toddlers
    Working in silence next to someone, even on different tasks, creates a shared atmosphere. Schedule co-working time at a local café or library with a friend — no talking required. Can’t make it in person? Open a ZOOM window where you can each see and hear one another.

  2. Combine the Mundane With the Meaningful
    Invite a friend to shop for groceries with you. Call a sibling while folding laundry. Turn solo errands into connection opportunities.

  3. Commute Together
    If you drive or take transit, look for a commute buddy once a week. Not only does it make the time pass faster, but it boosts mood: a win-win. (Yes, this is your excuse to acknowledge the stranger you always see on the bus with a head nod. The path from stranger to acquaintance begins with a single gesture.)

  4. Set a Ritual, Not a Date
    Instead of always scheduling one-off meetups, create recurring rituals: Friday takeout dinners, Monday morning walks, or Sunday shared “life admin” sessions. Familiarity builds connection. It’s far easier to cancel a standing meeting than to find room for a new one.

  5. Voice, Not Just Text
    Can’t meet in person? Send a voice note. Research shows voice-based communication (even over the phone) increases perceived warmth and connection far more than text.

These micro-moments of connection are the key to building “social health,” the often-overlooked third pillar alongside mental and physical health. As Harvard’s longest-running happiness study shows, relationships — not wealth, fame, or success — are the biggest predictor of lifelong happiness.

And no, it doesn’t require you to become an extrovert.

The Introvert's Secret Advantage

Contrary to stereotypes, introverts benefit from social connection just as much as extroverts. The difference? It’s all about context. Research from Stanford shows that meaningful interactions (not just more interactions) are what move the needle for emotional well-being. So skip the party if that’s not your thing, and opt for a shared project, a phone call, or a quiet walk instead.

A Challenge for This Week

Before the next issue of this newsletter hits your inbox, choose one activity you normally do alone and invite someone else into it.

  • Fold laundry on Zoom with a friend.

  • Read the same article with a colleague and share your takes.

  • Go on a “shared silence” nature walk with someone who gets it.

  • Start a Friday “run errands together” routine.

  • Invite someone to meal prep with you on FaceTime.

Does it feel awkward at first? Maybe. But connection is a skill, and like any skill, it gets easier with practice.

Until next week, here’s to making the mundane magical.

Together.

What’s something unexpected that you made into a social task? Do you have something you think could help others? Just hit reply — your email goes straight to my inbox. 🙏

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