The Network Wrangler
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Why Five is Your Magic Number

Why Five is Your Magic Number

How Your Top Five Connections Shape Your Future

Thomas Kriese
February 29, 2024

Hi there, happy Thursday!

Welcome to another issue of the Network Wrangler. Today’s a leap day and we’re up to number nine! Here’s today’s structure:

MANAGE: Insights on managing your existing network
GROW: Practical tips to grow your network
INSPIRE: A business idea that leverages networks
SCROLL: Quick links to items related to networking

MANAGE: How Your Top Five Connections Shape Your Future

In today's fast-paced world, the adage "You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with," coined by Jim Rohn, has never been more pertinent. This principle suggests that our lives are profoundly influenced by our closest connections, underscoring the importance of being intentional about who we allow into our inner circle and who we keep there. But what does this mean for our personal and professional growth, and how can we leverage this understanding to shape our future?

Our inner circle, the group of individuals we spend most of our time with, can either propel us towards our aspirations or hold us back. To be clear, these are not just friends or family members but are people who embody the success, values, and beliefs we aspire to. Their influence on us is profound, thanks to various sociological phenomena like mimetic desire and reciprocity, impacting our thinking, decision-making, and, ultimately, our actions.

The concept is simple yet powerful: surround yourself with people who reflect who you want to be and how you want to live. This doesn't mean forming relationships based on utility but fostering genuine connections with individuals who inspire you, challenge you, and push you toward excellence. Whether it's a Mentor who provides guidance, a Motivator who shares your ambitions, or a Connector who expands your network and opens doors to opportunities, each person in your inner circle contributes to your personal equation of success.

But why exactly five? The number isn't set in stone, but it symbolizes a manageable and intimate group size that allows for deep, meaningful interactions through specific roles they play in your life. These five archetypes are:

THE MENTOR: A wise and experienced guide who shares knowledge and offers support.
THE MOTIVATOR: An individual who inspires and pushes you to reach your full potential.
THE CONNECTOR: A well-connected person who expands your network and opens doors to opportunities.
THE CHALLENGER: Someone who challenges your ideas and pushes you to think differently.
THE SUPPORTER: A loyal and trustworthy connection who provides emotional support when needed.

In a world where quantity often overshadows quality, focusing on these key relationships ensures that we invest our time and energy where it can have the most significant impact.

Curating your inner circle requires reflection and intentionality. It begins with self-awareness, understanding your goals, values, and what you need from your relationships. From there, seek out individuals who not only share your aspirations but also bring diverse perspectives and strengths to the table. Remember, the goal is mutual growth and support, creating a dynamic where everyone benefits.

By intentionally building your inner circle, you harness the collective power of influence, support, and inspiration. As you navigate the complexities of life and strive for your goals, remember that your top five connections are not just part of your journey—they help shape its direction and destination. Choose wisely, nurture these relationships, and watch as they become the catalyst for your unparalleled growth.

If you’d like to dive deeper into this topic, I invite you to get my book, The Inner Circle Effect: Harnessing the Power of Your Closest Connections. It takes a couple of hours to read and do the work, so grab a cup of coffee, a pen and paper, and tap into your Inner Circle Effect.

GROW: Proper Introduction/Referral Etiquette

So, you’ve found someone you want to meet, and it’s time to leverage your network to get the introduction. Sweet!

Maintaining a respectful and professional demeanor is vital when asking for referrals and introductions within your professional network.

In the spirit of this issue’s magic number, here are 5 examples of best practices and common etiquette:

Be Clear and Specific - When requesting a referral or introduction, be clear about what you're looking for. Provide specific details about the connection you hope to make and why. This helps the person you're asking to provide the most relevant and beneficial introduction.
Personalize Your Request - It should go without saying, but I got another example in my inbox this week that calls for this reminder: Avoid sending generic requests. Personalize your message by explaining why you're reaching out to them specifically and how you value their judgment or connection.
Be Patient and Gracious - Understand that people are busy and may not respond immediately. Be patient and avoid sending multiple follow-ups in a short period. Once you receive a referral or introduction, express your gratitude promptly, regardless of the outcome.
Prepare Your Background Information - Make it easy for your connection to introduce you by providing a brief background about yourself, your professional achievements, and what you're looking for. This can be in the form of a concise paragraph or a link to your professional profile on LinkedIn.
Follow Up - After making a new connection, follow up to thank both the person who introduced you and the new contact. Keep them informed about the progress of the connection they helped establish, which shows appreciation for their effort.

By following this list of etiquette and best practices, you can effectively expand your professional network through referrals and introductions, building long-lasting, beneficial relationships in the process.

INSPIRE: There’s a Network Prompt for That

I’ve spent the last ten days deep-diving into learning AI prompts, so I thought I’d share with you a couple of the prompts I’ve fine-tuned for use in my own networking efforts.

Prompt for reconnecting:

Acting as a networking expert, please provide me with a strategy, including scripts and opening messages, to reconnect with old colleagues and mentors in a genuine and engaging manner.

Prompt for increasing your network’s weak ties:

Context: act as a networking expert who is insightful and creative and whose primary goal is to help increase the number of weak ties in a network. Task:  Brainstorm 10 ideas for expanding the number of connections to a diverse group of people.

Give them a try in your favorite generative AI tool (I used ChatGPT for mine), and see what comes back for you!

And let me know if this is something you’d like to see more of (instead of network-inspired business ideas). Just hit reply.

SCROLL: This Week’s Quick Hits

Why you almost never see a clock at the mall and other ways that retailers (and casinos!) use temporal distortion to their benefit when working the crowd. Now that you know, you can counter-program it. (The Hustle)
The power law effect on TikTok is alive and well. The top 25% of US adult content creators (by volume) produce 98% of all videos. And so many more observations (Pew Research)

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