Kindness Is Contagious

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Hi there, it’s Thomas.

Think back to the last time you were around someone whose warmth changed the energy of an entire room. Maybe they weren’t loud or charismatic, but their kindness was unmistakable. They smiled at strangers. They offered help without hesitation. And somehow, without knowing it, you smiled more, too.

Kindness, in this way, acts as a social signal. It broadcasts something powerful: I’m safe. I’m friendly. I see you.

In a world where faces are increasingly buried behind screens and even face masks, that signal is more valuable than ever.

The Science of Kindness (and Why It Works)

Psychologists call this kind of signaling prosocial behavior: voluntary actions intended to benefit others. Think: holding open a door, complimenting someone’s effort, or helping a stranger pick up dropped items. These behaviors do more than create micro-moments of human connection. They change the chemistry of social spaces.

If you’ve ever spent time around a smiling baby, you know how infectious their happiness can be on all those around them. And if they’re giggling and laughing? The whole room lights up in empathy. The joy emanating from babies is pure; it’s completely unrequited because they aren’t old enough to understand concepts like reciprocity, let alone how to leverage it.

We, on the other hand, are old enough to know, and research consistently shows why it benefits us so greatly to be kind.

Studies from the University of Oxford and Harvard School of Public Health have shown that people who perform kind acts (even small ones) experience elevated mood, lower stress, and stronger social bonds. And crucially, those on the receiving end feel more trusting and open—even to people they don't know.

This is what makes kindness such a potent social accelerator: it lowers people’s defenses. You become easier to talk to, easier to trust, easier to like. You make other people feel safe being themselves.

In other words, kindness doesn’t just feel good. It makes you magnetic.

The Bridge Between Strangers and Friends

Last week, we discussed taking on the role of the host, even when you're the guest. We also explored the four social gifts—appreciation, connection, elevation, and enlightenment—as tools to help strangers become acquaintances and acquaintances become friends.

But before any of that is possible, there's a foundational behavior that paves the way for those deeper exchanges: kindness.

Kindness is what creates a soft landing. It's the baseline that allows those other social gifts to be heard, felt, and received.

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Kindness Without Keeping Score

The real power of kindness lies in doing something nice without any expectation of reciprocity. That’s what makes it so rare and so memorable.

When you compliment someone with no hidden agenda, offer help with no strings attached, or simply smile without expecting anything back, you shift the tone of the room. People feel it. You feel it.

This form of kindness is an act of emotional generosity, and it sets you apart in a world that too often rewards snark and self-interest.

I live in a third-floor walk-up, and one of the neighbors on my floor gets the paper delivered. I’m normally up and about before he leaves his place, and whenever I return home and his paper is still by the mailboxes on the ground floor, I pick it up and drop it on his doorstep to save him the trip downstairs. I’ve been doing it for over a year, and I don’t think he knows it’s me (I’ve never been caught). Every time I drop it off, I feel better for having helped, if only for picturing how nice it must feel to open the door and to discover he’s been spared a multi-story stair climb to get the latest news.

Here’s the paradox: When you stop keeping score, the returns often multiply.

Call it karma. Call it what you will.

We’re all better for these small acts of kindness.

This Week’s Connection Challenge

Before next week's newsletter arrives in your inbox, try this:

Be consciously, quietly kind to five strangers with no expectation of return.

You can:

• Compliment someone on their shoes or style.

• Hold eye contact with a genuine smile (not too long!).

• Let someone merge in traffic and wave them on.

• Hold the door open for someone else to walk through.

• Say thank you with warmth to someone in service.

After you do each one, take a moment to notice how you feel. Kindness is as much a gift to yourself as it is to others.

In a society starved for connection, being kind isn’t just about being “nice.” It’s about sending a clear signal:

I’m human. You’re human. Let’s be human together.

And that, far more than cleverness or charisma, is what makes someone unforgettable.

What’s been your experience with small acts of kindness? Do you do something to help others without expectation of reciprocity? I’d love to hear about it. Just hit reply — your email goes straight to my inbox. 🙏

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