One Less Lonely Person

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Hi there,

It’s no secret we’re in the middle of a loneliness epidemic.

Study after study confirms what many of us already feel in our bones: even when surrounded by people, or pinged by dozens of group chats, we can still feel deeply alone. In fact, even the most popular, well-connected among us feel lonely sometimes. That’s not a sign of personal failure. It’s a signal. And it deserves our attention.

As we grow older, the stakes get even higher.

Research indicates that diverse social ties are among the strongest predictors of long-term health and happiness. The kind of ties that span beyond our immediate families or closest friends. The barista we know by name. The neighbor we wave to on our walks. The coworker we used to chat with daily, and haven’t messaged in months. These micro-connections matter. They buffer us against stress, depression, and physical decline.

And yet… technology is pulling us deeper into our screens and farther from those small, in-between moments of connection.

So what do we do about this?

We put ourselves second.

It may sound counterintuitive, but one of the quickest, most effective ways to shake off loneliness is to focus on helping someone else who is lonely, too.

Look around you.

Who seems a little quieter lately?

Who used to check in and now doesn’t?

Who gives short answers when you ask how they’re doing?

Reach out. Not to fix anything. Just to connect.

Be curious about how they’re doing. Share that you’ve felt a little lonely too, and wanted to say hi. Ask how they’ve really been. Let your own vulnerability be the invitation.

Because when we acknowledge our shared loneliness, we start to dissolve it together.

In a world full of uncertainty, pain, and too many reasons to stay in our own heads, the best use of your energy is reaching outward.

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When we look outward, we (temporarily) forget about our own problems, and more often than not, we’re reminded of how good we have things in comparison.

With so much uncertainty in the world, there’s a lot of suffering going on among those who do better when things are stable. Even those of us who have built up resistance to uncertainty can tire of the constant changes blaring from the headlines.

Now, more than ever, we have an opportunity to help each other get better at living with uncertainty, and that’s by being someone who can be counted on. Someone who is dependable. Someone that others can be certain of.

In a recent podcast, I heard Simon Sinek define community as “a group of people who agree to grow together.” Not to grow as a group, but to grow as individuals supported by a group of others seeking to get better, themselves.

Today, we need more and more community to keep the fabric of humanity together.

By reading this newsletter, you’re already in a community with hundreds of others, weaving human connection back into their lives. Together, we’re growing into better versions of ourselves by remembering that we were never meant to go through life alone.

And we’re re-learning the skills to make and keep friends to go through life together.

So here’s your call to action this week:

Find someone this week who might be feeling lonely.

Be curious. Be gentle. Be vulnerable.

Say something first.

Let them know they matter.

Help the world have one less lonely person by the time next week’s newsletter lands in your inbox.

Because this, this reaching out, is how we all get through.

Together.

What do you do when you have those moments when you feel lonely? I’d love you to share your tips with me, so I can share with others in a future newsletter. Thanks! 🙏