The Art of the Slow Fade: Evolving Your Network Gracefully

Hi there,

Happy New Year, and welcome to issue #53 of the Network Wrangler.

If you’re anything like me, the start of each year appears as a blank slate, where anything and everything is achievable in the following 365 days with the right amount of planning and intention.

Of course, the first day of January is an arbitrary day to “start over,” (pssst, you can choose any day of the year as your Day 1), but it’s the date accepted as the start of the year for most of the world’s 8.1 billion people. There’s power in numbers.

So, with January 1 as the starting line for a year’s long transformation, what have you decided to do?

I spent the last few weeks of 2024 auditing the composition of my Inner Circle to decide if the people who embodied the five archetypes are still the right people to be in that position in my life given my goals for 2025.

As a quick reminder, the five archetypes of an Inner Circle, and what they do to unlock the Inner Circle Effect, are:

1. Mentors, with their wealth of experience and wisdom, guide us through challenges and decisions.

2. Motivators are the driving force that keeps us moving forward, especially through challenging times.

3. Connectors are invaluable for their ability to bring people together, creating bridges between different groups and individuals.

4. Challengers provoke thought, encourage us to question our assumptions, and push us to achieve more.

5. Supporters offer emotional and moral backing, providing a foundation of stability and confidence.

In essence, these five archetypes within our Inner Circle act as catalysts for widespread influence and growth. And growth is the name of the game for me for 2025.

After careful examination, some changes must be made to align the people in my Inner Circle with where I want to be the next time I unpack mistletoe and hang it in the front hall.

This means there are some changes to be made, but it’s my goal that this change will be seamless for the affected parties.

I won’t send formal notifications to these people to inform them of their changed status. The last thing I want to do is create work for myself to soothe hurt feelings.

I’ll achieve the transition by putting more energy and priority into proactively connecting with the people I need in the roles. My connections with those on their way out will shift to be more reactive than proactive. I’ll respond, but I won’t initiate (as much).

The number one rule of an elegant transition means there’s no ghosting going on.

It’s a slow fade.

And it’s a natural part of Dunbar’s Churn, the phenomenon of replacing half our social network every seven years or so. This is how our Old and Cold connections are formed to tap into later in life.

To be clear, I love and cherish the people who were part of my Inner Circle in 2024. I wouldn’t be the person I am today without their influence and support, and for that, I’m eternally grateful.

The same goes for all the people who’ve helped me in the many phases of my life whether through acts large or small, to help me or hinder me. I wouldn’t be who I am at the keyboard today without their influence, and I have so much gratitude for them all.

But I won’t become the person I want to be at the end of 2025 if I don’t change the composition of the kind of people I’m closest to. And so, the work begins to manage my network in a new direction.

I’m a gardener at heart, so I’m accustomed to being hands-on with my plants. We are better for the continuous effort (both me and the plants).

It’s a lot like relationships: they require continuous effort; they don’t just maintain themselves (at least not in the way you want them to).

How’s your Inner Circle looking? Are they going to help you get where you want to be at the end of the year?

If they won’t, it’s time to make a change.

And I’m here to help you.

In fact, next week we’ll talk about how to make room in your network for the new influencers you know you need to help you achieve your goals in 2025.

Know someone who could use help? Forward this issue their way so they can subscribe.

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