The Hidden Power of Gratitude in Relationships

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Hi there, it’s Thomas.

Millions of Americans will gather around tables this coming Thursday for a tradition rooted in connection: Thanksgiving. While the occasion often centers on food, football, and shopping, the deeper power of the holiday lies in something far less flashy and globally relevant: gratitude.

And science is clear: gratitude is far more than a feel-good emotion. It’s a relational tool that strengthens the bonds that sustain us across all areas of life, from close friendships to trusted collaborators and colleagues.

Why Gratitude Matters More Than Ever

Strong, supportive relationships are among the most important predictors of long-term health and well-being. Research from the Harvard Study of Adult Development has shown that the quality of our relationships—not our wealth, status, or cholesterol—has the greatest impact on our longevity and life satisfaction.

But maintaining those high-quality connections, especially as we age, requires more than proximity. It demands intention. That’s where gratitude comes in.

Dr. Sara Algoe, a social psychologist at UNC Chapel Hill, has spent over a decade studying the effects of gratitude on interpersonal relationships. Her findings are remarkably consistent: expressing thanks builds stronger bonds, not just emotionally, but behaviorally.

In one multi-week study, participants who practiced regular gratitude toward people in their lives—friends, peers, teammates—reported significantly stronger connection and more frequent engagement.

They also spent more time with those individuals, made more meaningful contributions to shared work, and reported higher overall satisfaction with those relationships.

Gratitude leads to what Algoe calls a "find, remind, and bind" effect:

• It helps us find good people.

• It reminds us why we value them.

• And it binds us together through emotional resonance.

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Gratitude and the Brain: Lessons from Super-Agers

The benefits go beyond the emotional. Last week we covered how research into “super-agers”—those rare individuals who retain exceptional cognitive and physical vitality into their 80s and beyond—shows that strong social lives are a defining trait.

In a study from Northwestern University, scientists found that while super-agers’ brains differ biologically, their behavior consistently includes one standout factor: they maintain vibrant, engaging social connections. They’re active, connected, and involved, often more than their peers by decades.

Gratitude is the social glue that fuels these connections. It doesn’t just enhance relationships; it helps preserve the mental sharpness and emotional resilience that carry us into later life.

Even brief expressions of appreciation—an email, a quick note, a casual “thanks for your help today”—can spark a lasting shift in the way others perceive us and how we experience our own communities.

This Week’s Challenge: "Gratitude x 3"

Let’s turn this insight into action.

Before the next Network Wrangler lands in your inbox, here’s your challenge:

1. Identify three people in your life you’re grateful for: friends, partners, mentors, even coworkers.

2. Tell each one directly. Not in passing. Take a moment to name something specific they’ve done that matters to you.

3. Notice what happens. Did it shift the energy? Spark more connection? Change your mood?

Even a brief expression of gratitude can be a relational multiplier. It builds goodwill, strengthens bonds, and encourages people to keep showing up for one another, growing your network exponentially.

Even more so, gratitude is one of the most accessible tools for deepening trust, increasing collaboration, and building loyalty.

Especially in professional networks where busyness often gets in the way of relationship maintenance, a well-timed expression of appreciation cuts through the noise.

The Thanksgiving holiday comes just once a year. But thankfulness, practiced regularly, can change your relationships, and your life, all year long no matter where you live in the world.

Start today.
Say what you feel.
Let them know they matter.

You’ll be better for it.
And so will they.

Thank you for reading my newsletter. You mean the world to me.

What’s been your experience with gratitude? Do you give more than you receive? Have something you think could help others? Just hit reply. Your email goes straight to my inbox. 🙏

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