Want to Live Longer and Sharper? Be More Social.

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Hi there, it’s Thomas.

Most people don’t just want to live longer, they want to live better. They want to reach their 80s and 90s still sharp, energetic, and thriving.

Need proof? The longevity sector is thriving with conferences and authors and supplements and procedures all telling us how to live a long time. And alongside this demand are people like Dr. Peter Attia, author of Outlive, who has loads of affluent people on a waiting list to pay him six figures to make the last decade of their life as enjoyable as possible (YouTube).

For a lucky few, theirs is reality even without his intervention. They’re known as super-agers, a term used to describe people who maintain exceptional mental and physical health well into their later decades.

But here’s what might surprise you: it’s not just about genetics, exercise, or green smoothies. What really sets super-agers apart is their social well-being.

What Makes a Super-Ager?

Studies by Northwestern University’s Feinberg School of Medicine have shown that super-agers’ brains are biologically different. Their cortical thickness, the brain’s outer layer involved in memory and cognition, remains intact, and they show fewer of the plaques associated with Alzheimer’s.

Yet when researchers looked at behavior, they didn’t find a common diet, fitness regimen, or supplement protocol.

Instead, they found a standout trait: super-agers are deeply social.

Across the board, these vibrant elders rated their relationships more positively, spent more time in community, and reported higher levels of extraversion. They weren’t just surviving—they were actively engaging, connecting, and participating.

Sound familiar? It should to longtime readers of this newseltter.

This echoes decades of data from the Harvard Study of Adult Development, one of the longest longitudinal studies ever conducted. It found that the single biggest predictor of long-term health and happiness wasn’t wealth, career achievement, or cholesterol. It was the quality of your relationships.

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The Most Powerful Lifestyle Habit? Maintenance of Your Social Ties

You can’t re-engineer your brain biology. But what you can do is maintain and deepen your social relationships, which, in turn, may help preserve your brain.

As Dr. Robert Waldinger, director of the Harvard study, puts it, “We think of physical fitness as a practice. Our social life is a living system, and it needs maintenance too.”

Social scientist Kasley Killam, author of The Art and Science of Connection, offers a simple, effective way to keep your social ecosystem healthy: the 5-3-1 rule.

The 5-3-1 Rule: A Daily Practice for Lifelong Connection

This is one of the most actionable and research-backed systems to cultivate social well-being:

• 5: Spend time with five different people each week. 
  This could include casual acquaintances: neighbors, coworkers, that fellow parent at school drop-off.

• 3: Nurture three close relationships. 
  These are the people who really know you. Call them. Listen deeply. Make plans.

• 1: Aim for one hour of social connection a day. 
  Break it into chunks if needed, talking to a friend during your commute or chatting on the phone after dinner. Just keep the habit alive.

Studies have shown that even a 10-minute phone call two to five times a week can significantly reduce feelings of loneliness, depression, and anxiety.

And connection doesn’t have to be intense or deep every time. Social well-being is built through consistency, not just profundity.

Why This Works

The "use it or lose it" principle doesn’t just apply to muscles. It applies to brains and bonds.

Psychologist Bryan James found that socially active older adults develop dementia an average of five years later than those who are isolated. And other research confirms that mentally engaging activities—like joining a book club, taking a class, or learning a new skill—protect cognitive health just as much as they elevate mood and purpose.

Want to become a super-ager? Take your social life as seriously as your workouts.

This Week’s Challenge: Start Your Own 5–3–1 Ritual

Between now and the next issue of The Network Wrangler landing in your inbox, build your own 5–3–1 ritual. Use this checklist:

✅ Talk to five different people (they don’t all have to be close friends)
✅ Deepen three meaningful connections (reach out, make plans, show up)
✅ Spend at least one hour total in social interaction (in daily increments, if you can)

You don’t need to overhaul your schedule. Just layer connection into what you’re already doing. Text while walking the dog. Catch up on a voice memo during lunch. Invite someone along on your errands.

The small conversations are the soil where long, healthy lives take root.

You might not control your genes. But you absolutely control your calendar, and what’s on it.

Choose people.

Because connection isn’t just a nice-to-have, it’s the foundation of a long, vibrant, and meaningful life.

What are your thoughts on super-aging? Do you want to live longer but only if you can live better? Know something you think could help others? Just hit reply — your email goes straight to my inbox. 🙏

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