You'll Lose by Playing the Waiting Game

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Hi there, happy Thursday!

Welcome to issue #19 of the Network Wrangler. We’ve got yet another sponsor for this week’s issue, and those of you interested in AI (I hope this is the majority of you?!) will want to check them out at the bottom of the newsletter.

Here’s what we’re covering today:

• Stop the Waiting Game: Connect Today

• Sustaining Growth through Your Inner Circle

Stop Playing the Waiting Game: Connect Today

I was about to shut my car door to walk across the school parking lot to pick up my daughter from daycare on Tuesday when my iPhone rang.

I have a rule: I don't answer the phone if I don’t recognize the inbound number. They'll leave a message if it’s important enough, and I can decide whether to call back at my convenience.

I looked at my phone to discover it was the name of someone I hadn’t spoken to in almost a decade. This was a call I wanted to answer, and I had a few minutes to spare before the late charges started to rack up at daycare.

So I sat back in my car and connected to the call, hearing his familiar voice shout, “Dude, you could’ve warned me about your ‘Drinks with Dad’ issue. I wasn’t expecting to need Kleenex on the train!”

Um, hello to you, too?

He hadn’t called to chew me out. He’d called to tell me he scheduled his first “Drinks with Dad” as soon as he finished my newsletter last week. They’d shared an awkward but meaningful hour together on Monday night and agreed to give it a go next week, too.

He was grateful for the inspiration to make the connection to his father. However, he then shared how he regrets not having done the same with his mom before she died during COVID.

He kept waiting for the right time to ask, the consistent opening on his calendar, or the sustainable conversation topics to appear. They never did.

He admitted he’d lost by playing the waiting game.

We hung up fifteen minutes later, after we shared smiles, laughter, and even some tears. But we promised to talk again in a couple weeks when we both have more time. There’s so much more to catch up on.

I wasn’t expecting to have such a heart-to-heart conversation in the parking lot of my daughter’s school, but that’s the happy risk of answering a call from an old and cold connection.

And a good reminder to check in on how you’re doing with making those re-connections yourself. Hmmm?

Need a nudge? Here’s your template:

• Invitation to Reconnect next Monday
  (If you’re not brave being vulnerable, delete the words in italics.)

  “Hey, I was thinking of you, and I realized I feel disconnected from you. I don’t want to feel that way anymore. Let’s set up a time to catch up next week. How does Monday evening work for you?” <send>

There’s still time.

The Long-Term Payoff: Sustaining Growth Through Your Inner Circle

It’s been a minute since we talked about them, but in the quest for personal and professional development, the significance of your Inner Circle cannot be overstated. This select group of individuals—comprised of mentors, motivators, connectors, challengers, and supporters—plays a critical role in our ongoing growth and success.

However, the true value of an Inner Circle lies not only in its immediate impact but also in its long-term benefits. Sustaining and nurturing this core group can lead to enduring growth, opening up new opportunities, and enhancing well-being over time.

Continuous Personal Development

An effective Inner Circle constantly challenges and encourages us to evolve. Mentors and challengers push us to exceed our limits and expand our capabilities; they push us to break free of the confines of our homeostatic impulses. This environment of continuous improvement fosters personal development that keeps pace with changing industry trends and personal aspirations. Regularly engaging with your Inner Circle ensures that your growth never stagnates but instead keeps advancing in alignment with your evolving goals.

Opening New Opportunities

Connectors within your Inner Circle are instrumental in opening doors to new opportunities. These could be career advancements, new business ventures, or even collaborations that would not be accessible without the deep, trust-based connections of those in your core network. Over time, the compound effect (dare I say, exponential effect?) of these opportunities can significantly alter the trajectory of your professional life, leading to achievements and successes that are both richer and more impactful.

Enhanced Well-Being and Resilience

Supporters in your Inner Circle play a vital role in your overall well-being. Their encouragement and understanding provide a psychological safety net that enhances your resilience against the pressures and failures encountered along the path to success. This emotional support is crucial, combined with the encouragement of your motivators, as it helps maintain a healthy mindset, allowing you to recover from setbacks more quickly and maintain focus on long-term objectives.

Longevity in Relationships

I’ve found the best kind of relationships don’t fall neatly into personal or professional but are a beautiful blend of the two. Building long-term relationships within your Inner Circle also offers a unique kind of payoff that goes beyond professional success. These relationships, enriched with trust and mutual respect, become a reliable source of joy, satisfaction, and fulfillment. The deep connections formed through years of shared experiences and mutual support add an invaluable layer of quality to your life.

Strategic Networking

Your Inner Circle also helps to position you within broader networks strategically. They are your best wing people. By acting as advocates for your skills and character, members of your Inner Circle can amplify your reputation and credibility within the wider professional community. This enhanced network reputation is a critical asset in today's interconnected world, where opportunities often arise from the strength and reach of your network.

Don’t believe me? Check out what Shaena is doing over at Tjena.io with her Human Connection as a Service.

So, we see that cultivating a robust Inner Circle has profound long-term benefits. It’s about more than just professional networking; it’s about creating a foundational support system that propels you toward your goals and enriches your life in every aspect.

As you continue to nurture these relationships, your Inner Circle will contribute to your immediate success and ensure sustained growth and fulfillment far into the future.

SCROLL: This Week’s Quick Hits

• Ten (10) key strategies for making friends as an adult. (Psychology Today)

• Nine (9) easy steps to get back in touch with someone (Bustle)

• Why do humans resist change? A study finds that monkeys are more cognitively flexible than we are. (Psychology Today)

Was this newsletter forwarded to you? Sign up to get your very own copy direct to your mailbox starting next week!

That’s all for this week. See you next Thursday!

— Thomas

PS: Heads-up, May 15 is my next available date for coaching. We might be a good fit if you know you need to reconnect with your network and want to make 2024 the year you harness the power of your connections.

I work with clients to:

• audit their existing networks

• identify gaps and opportunities

• unleash the power of old and cold connections

Just reply to this email if you want to know more.

Got any feedback for me? Just hit reply. I read every email.

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