A Deeper Dive into the Magic Five

Hi there, happy Thursday!

Welcome to another issue of the Network Wrangler. We’re up to number 11! Here’s what we’re covering today:

1. A deeper dive into your Empowering Five

2. Why you should reconnect with old connections before making new ones.

3. Making an AI-powered Find My Newest Friends

Can you help me grow? Please forward this newsletter to two people you think would appreciate the content. Thank you!

MANAGE: The Archetypes of an Empowering Inner Circle

I got some great follow-up questions to my summary of Inner Circle archetypes in the Why Five Is Your Magic Number newsletter, so today we’re diving deeper into what each archetype brings to the party.

In our pursuit of success, who we surround ourselves with can be just as crucial as our own hard work and determination. The concept of the Inner Circle, those who we spend the most time with, is not just about having supportive people around; it's about intentionally curating a group that embodies specific archetypes essential for personal and professional growth.

Understanding these archetypes can transform how we approach our networks, ensuring we're surrounded by a dynamic mix of individuals who push us toward our highest potential.

1. The Mentor: The linchpin of any effective Inner Circle is the Mentor who offers guidance, wisdom, and feedback drawn from their own experiences. They are the ones who have walked the path before us and can foresee challenges we might also face, offering solutions and encouragement to navigate our journey effectively. They are worth their weight in gold and enable us to scale the learning curve so much quicker than we could on our own.

2. The Motivator: This person knows how to fuel our inner fire and push us beyond our self-imposed boundaries. A good Motivator will challenge us to strive for our full potential and not accept mediocrity. They remind us of our capabilities and push us to achieve more.

My most productive partnerships have been where I am paired with a Motivator who got me to 10x my original plans. I call this the optimal Poet-Architect pairing where the Motivator (Poet) gets me (Architect) to build something I otherwise wouldn’t have believed within my grasp.

3. The Connector: Connectors are the networkers of an Inner Circle, adept at bringing people together and expanding our horizons. They introduce us to new ideas, opportunities, and other influential individuals, broadening our network and opening doors to new paths and partnerships.

The average person has 610 acquaintances in their network. In fact, around 90% of the population have acquaintance networks somewhere between 250 and 1,700 individuals. Connectors are on the upper end of this spectrum, and you want at least one of them in your Inner Circle to keep the introductions flowing.

4. The Challenger: This archetype is crucial as well, because it pushes us out of our comfort zones. Challengers question our assumptions, compel us to rethink our strategies, and encourage us to set higher goals. Think of Challengers as being allergic to the status quo. They are essential for growth, as they prevent stagnation and promote a mindset of continuous improvement.

My own Challenger is from Denmark, and he embodies the Viking culture by calling me on my bullshit whenever he catches whiff of it. If you can find a Viking to be your own Challenger, I highly recommend it.

5. The Supporter: Often underestimated, the Supporter is a loyal and trustworthy connection who provides emotional support and stability. They keep us grounded and remind us of our core values and identity during times of doubt or crisis. Supporters are our confidants, the ones we turn to for solace and reassurance, ensuring our emotional well-being as we navigate the ups and downs of our endeavors.

Curating an Inner Circle with these archetypes ensures a balanced and comprehensive support system. It's important to note that it’s not just about surrounding ourselves with people who are successful in the way we want to be but also about ensuring that our circle encompasses a wide range of perspectives and strengths.

This diversity fosters a dynamic environment where challenges are met with creativity, ambition is fueled with inspiration, and our goals are supported by a foundation of wisdom and emotional stability.

Building an effective Inner Circle is a deliberate process, requiring us to seek out and nurture relationships with individuals who embody these archetypes. In doing so, we create a powerhouse of support and influence, propelling us toward success in every facet of our lives.

Want to go even deeper? Pick up a copy of my book, The Inner Circle Effect: Harnessing the Power of Your Closest Connections (Kindle or paperback).

GROW: Grow with Those You Already Know (and Who Know You, Too).

If you pour water into a jug with a hole in the bottom, it’s only a matter of time until all of the water leaks out. Even if you are able to continuously pour more water into the jug, you will still lose a significant amount of your water through that hole.

This is an important analogy to keep in mind for your network growth strategy. I’m just as guilty as anyone in encouraging the gathering of more connections to add to your existing network. And while adding new connections is useful for diversifying your network and shaping it in new ways, we also need to pay attention to how we are managing our existing connections.

It’s not a coincidence that I structure each newsletter to begin with addressing how to better manage our existing network. It’s so much easier to retain and maintain our existing connections than it is to gain new ones.

We’ve already exchanged value with and built up social capital in our existing connections. We’re further down the road of reciprocity and away from the zone of transactional interactions. Moreover, our existing connections already know us and are ready to help if we ask.

So, before you invest too much time and effort into meeting new people, take a look at your existing network to see what connections you may have let grow old and cold.

Invest your energy into reconnecting and warming up those relationships first. Who knows what has happened since you last connected? I’ve a strong suspicion they’ll surprise you with something additive to what you’re trying to do today.

(Need help reconnecting with your old and cold connections? Scroll to the bottom of this issue for details on workshops tackling this exact issue later this month.)

INSPIRE: An AI-powered Find My Newest Friends

As I’m plowing through my focus of expanding my network this quarter, I’m reminded of a before-its-time proximity app for friends who traveled extensively and were trying to figure out who was in the same city as they were at the time. The year was 2008. The app was called Dopplr. And one of its cofounders was Dan Gillmor, a journalist I started following back when he wrote for the San Jose Mercury News. 

He traveled a lot, and so did I, so using Dopplr was a way to triangulate if we’d be in the same city at the same time and could therefore meet up away from home.

I loved receiving my weekly Dopplr journals (emails) to learning that a friend who lived in New York was going to be in Denver the same weekend I was. Or that someone I’d been wanting to meet was actually going to be nearby in the Bay Area.

Nokia liked the app so much, they bought it in 2009. If you visit the Dopplr domain today, however, you’ll find a decidedly different set of content there, as the utility of Dopplr was replaced by so many other social media platform functionalities (I’m looking at you, Facebook).

Flash forward to this week, and I’m reading Michael Houck’s newsletter, specifically, the section talking about addressing the increasingly hot market of digital nomadism.

I’ve still got my sights set on being a digital nomad once the nest is empty, but in the meantime, I can still window-shop about the wonderful things I’ll be able to do.

Houck tosses out an idea for how to serve the Digital Nomad market, and it sure sounds a lot like Dopplr, but with a seredipitous twist on finding new coonnections:

/“An AI-powered Find My Friends (for people you aren’t even friends with yet) is a vetted network people opt into and get AI-powered alerts when others with similar interests are in the same city. High trust in the network is required for this to work.”

Anyone want to take a crack at this? I’d sign up for such a service. The high trust piece is really just an extension of what Lunchclub is doing online, at home, already. Hit me up if you want my help!

SCROLL: This Week’s Quick Hits

• “Knowing Me, Knowing You” the Importance of Networking for Freelancers’ Careers: Examining the Mediating Role of Need for Relatedness Fulfillment and Employability-Enhancing Competencies (National Library of Medicine)

• The superpower you need for doing almost anything: How to get yourself to do almost anything, especially if you’re stuck. (The Adam Experiment)

• When Your Technical Skills Are Eclipsed, Your Humanity Will Matter More Than Ever (New York Times)

It’s Workshop Season!

The rest of March will be workshop-heavy for me (yay).

I am leading a workshop on Building Companies with an Ecosystem Mindset to the Tech Nordic Advocates cohort of female founders on March 20/21.

I’ve teamed up with the amazing Shaena Harrison to present two different Revive & Thrive workshops on reconnecting with old and cold connections in your network.

• March 25: Mastering the Art of Warming Up Cold Contacts

• March 27: Engaging Your Cold Connections to Heat Up Your Job Search 

If you know anyone who could benefit from either of these workshops, please forward this email to them. As of publication, limited tickets are still available for each, but I can make room by special request. Just hit reply to let me know.

Was this newsletter forwarded to you? Sign up here to get your very own copy direct to your mailbox starting next week!

That’s all for this week. See you next Thursday!

— Thomas

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