Don’t Look Away

Hi there,

We don’t talk to each other anymore. Not really.

We’ve perfected the art of walking through the world with our heads down, eyes glued to screens, AirPods firmly in place, immune to the people passing right beside us.

A growing number of us move through our days in a kind of self-contained bubble, where silence and solitude feel like control. Or safety. Or maybe just convenience.

But here’s the thing: humans are social beings. We need each other. And not just in big, obvious ways like leaning on a partner during hard times or confiding in a close friend.

We need each other in small, daily, fleeting ways, too.

The barista who remembers your name.

The person who holds the door open with a smile.

The stranger at the dog park who asks your dog’s name. (but not yours!)

These seemingly minor moments of social generosity create a kind of micro-nourishment for our nervous systems. They lift our mood, make us feel seen, and quietly remind us: you’re not alone.

A growing body of research confirms it—even small, spontaneous interactions with strangers improve mood and well-being. People consistently underestimate how much a simple hello, a compliment, or a short chat can brighten someone’s day.

So, why don’t we do it more?

Because we’ve lost the habit.

And maybe, if we’re honest, the courage.

So let’s build it back… after a word from this week’s sponsor.

Fact-based news without bias awaits. Make 1440 your choice today.

Overwhelmed by biased news? Cut through the clutter and get straight facts with your daily 1440 digest. From politics to sports, join millions who start their day informed.

Sign up now!

Start with Eye Contact

Friendly eye contact doesn’t mean staring someone down. It’s a gentle glance, paired with a soft smile or a polite nod. Just enough to acknowledge: I see you. We’re sharing space. You can practice this while walking down the street, waiting in line, or passing by a neighbor.

Here’s the trick: don’t hold it too long, don’t make it weird, and always pair it with some warmth. You’ll be surprised how many people soften in response.

And, here’s the bonus: when you practice, you’re not looking for anything in return. Radiate the positive engagement outward as a giveaway. Your gift to the world that day is your friendly glance. Mission accomplished.

Next, Try Small Talk

As we’ve covered before, small talk doesn’t need to be brilliant. It just needs to be real. Ask the grocery clerk how their day’s going. Compliment the person next to you in the coffee line on their bold shoe choice. Say something nice about someone’s dog, someone’s book, or someone’s child.

Ask questions like:

• “What’s the best thing that happened to you today?”

• “Is this your favorite place for [coffee/dogs/books/yoga]?”

• “Have you ever tried [this drink/place/class] before?”

The goal isn’t to make a best friend. It’s to spark a moment of connection, however brief.

Your goal is to create a small instance of uplift in someone else’s life, and to tee them up to pass it along to others.

You’re nurturing small bids of connection that help weave back together the threads of community in a society that’s largely unraveling into bubbles of alone-ness.

Anyone who has been single knows that we are predisposed to be attracted to people who show they like us by signaling their availability to us.

As humans, we naturally avoid putting ourselves in situations where we might be rejected (thanks, evolution!). The most successful people among us are the ones who’ve learned to master this fear of rejection.

But that still leaves a lot of people out there who are socially looking for a soft spot to land.

You can be that soft spot by using eye contact and small talk to show them the world’s not such a scary place.

This Week’s Challenge:

Make friendly eye contact with at least ten people this week.

It can be strangers, coworkers, baristas, neighbors: anyone.

Maybe only half of them return the gesture. That’s okay.

You’re not doing it for validation. You’re doing it because you’re human, and so are they. And connection, even in its smallest form, is good for you both.

Let’s rebuild that fragile social thread: one glance, one nod, one friendly word at a time.

We’re meant to be together.

Even in the checkout line.

Even at the stoplight.

Even on the sidewalk.

Especially on the sidewalk.

Want to dig a little deeper? Keep your eye on the field of humanoid social robots where they’re doing massive amounts of research on all the little nuances that lead to social acceptance in a quest to erase the uncanny valley.

A big shoutout to my alma mater UC San Diego for publishing this research on improving the acceptance of robots as members of action teams, such as emergency medical teams, where people work in time-critical contexts under uncertainty, and functioning as a cohesive team is of utmost importance. It’s the article that inspired this week’s newsletter.

How much eye contact do you make when you’re out and about? Do you have a connection tip you think could help others? Let me know so I can share with others!