It's (Still) Survival of the Kindest

Hi there,

Welcome to issue #45 of the Network Wrangler.

What a difference a week has made since I last arrived in your inbox, reminding you that we have more in common than we think.

I believed this week’s post-election issue would come to you with much careful counting and re-counting of votes still ongoing as razor-thin margins suspended the outcome from being called.

Instead, the American voters' choice was pretty clear by the time the polls closed on Tuesday, and by Wednesday morning, we saw a definitive and decisive swing to the right all across the board. As an example of the pervasiveness of the shift, most of the nation’s 3,000-plus counties swung rightward compared with 2020.

Comparing the rhetoric of the campaigns and the imagined plans for the new administration has left many people (including me) scratching their heads, wondering where we go from here.

I’m not entirely certain where we will go, but I do know that we must get there together.

While the votes indicate the country seems to be morphing into a way of living that is counter to what we know has made us prosperous: tolerant, empathetic, and sympathetic, there’s still (almost) half the country that still fully embraces this connected way of thinking.

And that includes you, my friend.

If you haven’t yet already, reach out to the people you love to check in on them and let them know they are loved. Feel their reciprocal love for you.

If you haven’t yet already, reach out to the people you respect to check in on them and let them know they are respected. Feel their reciprocal respect for you.

If you haven’t already, reach out to the people you are concerned about and let them know you are concerned and want to help. Feel their reciprocal desire to help you.

Rebecca Solnit published a very thoughtful post on what’s to come on Facebook Wednesday morning as the dust was clearing and the election results were clear. She concluded with this beautiful observation on our connectedness:

Once More for Those in the Back: Human Success is Rooted in Empathy and Cooperation

As I shared last week, the central tenet of the book Survival of the Friendliest: Understanding our Origins and Rediscovering Our Common Humanity is that what made homo sapiens evolutionarily fit was a remarkable kind of friendliness, a virtuous ability to coordinate and communicate with others that allowed us to achieve all the cultural and technical marvels in human history.

The flip side of this evolutionary fitness for cooperation is our outsized cruelty when someone we love is threatened by an “outsider.” Just as a mama bear is most dangerous when she thinks her cubs are threatened, we humans can fall prey to our worst instincts when confronted by a threatening outsider, imaginary or real.

This brings us to how we, as individuals, navigate this week’s high emotions and re-commit to remain firmly rooted on the path of kindness.

I caught myself several times today drifting into feelings of being dehumanized by others and then the reciprocal dehumanizing of those others. The evolutionary pull to be cruel in response to threats from others is rooted in millennia of instinctual reactions.

But as I wrestled with these evolutionary urges, I was reminded of one of my favorite aphorisms that was coined by John A. Shedd over a hundred years ago: “A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for.”

It’s times like these when we are tasked with putting all our learning and self-awareness and faith to the test.

It’s one thing to follow the path to prosperity paved with kindness and empathy and cooperation when those you love are safe (in port). It’s quite another to stay on that path when those you love are being dehumanized and their basic rights are being revoked (in the rough seas).

The hidden truth of our evolution is that kindness is not a weakness but our greatest strength.

Now’s the time to double down on staying the course of that broader arc of evolution and human history that shows that kindness, cooperation, and empathy are the traits that promote long-term success. It’s the kindest communities that ensure the survival and success of our species.

And those communities start with people like us, with leaders like us, reaching out to those we care for and to cooperate with each other for our shared long-term prosperity. It’s these networks of empathy and embracing the humanity of the other that will continue to propel us to our best selves.

Regardless of who happens to occupy the formal leadership roles.

I’m grateful to have you as a reader and to count you as part of the global citizenry, making this world a better place for all.

Next week we’ll return to the nuts and bolts of networking. Until then, take good care of yourself and go make some art to brighten your soul.

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