Even More Benefits to Reconnecting with Old Connections

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Hi there, happy Thursday!

Welcome to issue #25 of the Network Wrangler. We’re sponsored yet again (see their pitch at the bottom of this newsletter).

Here’s what we’re covering in today’s issue:

• More Benefits to Reconnecting with Your Dormant Network

• Finding a Supporter: The Emotional Touchstone of Your Inner Circle

Next week’s edition comes out on my birthday 🎂 , so let me know what you’d like me to cover in the newsletter by hitting reply! It’s going to be reader’s choice :)

More Benefits to Reconnecting with Old Connections in Your Network

Everyone loves an opportunity to network with a bunch of unknown people, right? When you’re trying to decide if it’s worth it to make time and arrangements to attend that shiny new networking event, I invite you to instead pause and look at the true cost of attending.

All things being equal, it’s a much better use of your time to forgo trying to find the needle-in-a-haystack potential connection from a new person at said event. Instead, you should reach out to reignite the dormant connections in your existing network.

Why? Read on…

In the fast-paced whirlwind of our professional lives, not to mention the time-consuming demands of good parenting, it’s common for connections—once the most vital threads in our network—to become dormant. To go old and cold.

But reigniting these relationships offers us a treasure trove of untapped potential and opportunities. Reconnecting with old connections isn't just about reminiscing (although there’s nothing wrong with that); it's about leveraging past relationships to enhance your current and future prospects, all the while you’re seeing how far you’ve come in the intervening years.

Touchpoints for Measuring Progress

Sometimes, we become so fixated on our current problems and challenges that we forget to appreciate all the growth and experience we’ve undergone to put us in this position of tackling today’s problems. Old connections are touchpoints back to the former versions of you because they have known you at different stages of your career and life.

The simple act of contemplating reaching out to them affords you the opportunity to revisit who you were and what you were doing the last time the two of you talked.

What do you know now that you wish you knew back when you last spoke?

What big achievements did you accomplish just after your last contact?

What lessons did you learn that year?

Even without reaching out to them, your dormant network is helping you realize just how much progress you’ve made over the intervening years and decades.

Unearthing Opportunities

Old connections are also valuable because they combine familiarity with fresh, new potential.

Because they’ve known you at different stages of your career and life, you have a chance to revisit (and even re-engage?) the robust networks that you were a part of during that stage of life. Indeed, reconnecting with them can unearth opportunities that are mutually beneficial, from new business ventures and collaborations to valuable mentorships and partnerships.

Both you and your old connection have gone on to be successful in new and interesting ways since you last spoke, and here’s your chance to see how these separate paths can overlap again.

Enhancing Your Network’s Diversity

For all the reasons we’ve discussed in this newsletter before, your current network trends toward the homogenous group that is most useful to you in addressing your current problems. Reconnecting with people from your past adds diversity to your network in terms of age, experience, and expertise. This diversity can enhance your problem-solving abilities by exposing you to different viewpoints and approaches you might not encounter in your current circle.

In addition, the varying levels of expertise and experience in your rejuvenated network can lead to more comprehensive insights and opportunities than your current network can provide.

Renewing Bonds and Trust

Relationships are built on trust, which takes time to develop. When you reconnect with someone from your past, you're not starting from scratch—there's already a foundational layer of trust and shared experiences.

You’ve already done the heavy lifting to create a strong connection and its attendant social capital. It’s almost like a freeze-dried connection, just add water. In this case, the water is your reaching out to reconnect, and voila, you’re back into your old habits of disclosure, support, and mutual admiration.

This can expedite trust-building in renewed relationships, making it easier to collaborate and support one another effectively. After all, you once had a close connection with them, so why wouldn’t you drop back into your old ways?

How to Reconnect Effectively

1. Reach Out with a Personal Touch: When reaching out to an old connection, personalize your communication. Mention shared memories or past projects to jog their memory and personalize the interaction. If you’re struggling to figure out what to say, just go with a simple but genuine, “I was thinking of you.”

2. Update and Share: Provide a brief update on your professional life and inquire about theirs. This exchange of current statuses (stati?) can identify areas of mutual interest or opportunities for collaboration. Remember, it’s about jump-starting the connection, and you’re the one who arrives at this reconnection with premeditated memories to share.

3. Offer Value: Always think about how you can be of value to them, rather than what you can get out of the interaction. Perhaps share an article, a job posting, or a business opportunity that you think might interest them.
   
   Just last week, I reached out to a connection I hadn’t been in contact with for three years by sharing an article I knew to be near and dear to his interests. Just five days later, we had a great reconnection that might lead to a new engagement with a bespoke workshop on reconnecting with old connections!

4. Keep the Connection Alive: Once reconnected, strive to keep the relationship active by checking in periodically, sharing relevant information, and offering support when possible. This is going to take some extra effort because you’re creating a new habit of staying connected, but it’s so worth it.

To recap, reconnecting with old connections revitalizes your network and infuses it with renewed energy and potential. It not only broadens your professional landscape but also deepens the existing roots, reinforcing your network’s overall strength and resilience.

So, which freeze-dried connections are you going to rehydrate today by reaching out to reconnect?

Finding a Supporter: The Keystone of Your Inner Circle

We’re now talking about the fifth and final archetype of your Inner Circle: your Supporter. (New here? see the editions covering Mentors, Motivators, Connectors, and Challengers.)

The value of having a Supporter in your inner circle cannot be overstated in our journeys of growth and achievement. As the name implies, our supporters provide encouragement, instill confidence, and offer a safety net in times of risk or failure. Identifying individuals who embody the supporter archetype is crucial for maintaining resilience and motivation.

Here’s how to recognize and engage with a true supporter within your network.

1. Exhibits Empathy and Compassion:

   True Supporters are defined by their empathy and compassion. They can understand and share others' feelings, making them invaluable during challenging times. In your network, look for individuals who demonstrate genuine concern for the well-being of others and who are often the go-to person for advice and comfort.

2. Offers Encouragement and Positive Reinforcement:

   Supporters are great at offering encouragement. They recognize your strengths and remind you of them when you doubt yourself. They are excellent at providing positive reinforcement, celebrating your successes, and helping you learn from your failures without judgment. These are the folks who are adept at bringing a sunny disposition on your darkest days.

3. Reliable and Consistent:

   Reliability is a hallmark of a strong supporter. These individuals are consistent in their support, whether you're facing personal or professional challenges. They offer a stable presence that you can count on, which is particularly important when navigating the ups and downs of any ambitious endeavor. These are not the people who disappear when times get hard for you.

4. Communicates Openly and Honestly:

   Supporters are not just cheerleaders; they also provide honest feedback in a compassionate manner. They are willing to have tough conversations when necessary, always aiming to guide rather than criticize. In this way, they may feel like your Challenger, but they are really here to help propel you through the tough stuff.

5. Actively Listens and Engages:

   Effective supporters are attentive listeners. They give you their full attention and engage deeply with what you’re saying, making you feel heard and understood. This active engagement is critical for building trust and fostering a supportive relationship with you.

Finding a Supporter involves observing how people react to the successes and struggles of others. It’s on you to engage with individuals at work, in social settings, or during volunteer activities who consistently demonstrate these qualities. Once you identify these potential supporters, foster these relationships by being open about your needs and challenges, and reciprocate their support to build a lasting and mutually beneficial connection.

Supporters are essential for anyone looking to thrive, not just survive, in their personal and professional lives.

SCROLL: This Week’s Quick Hits

• How to leverage your network to help you overcome the 8 big reasons that change is hard. (Psychology Today)

• How to cut toxic people out of your life. (AOM)

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That’s all for this week. See you next Thursday!

— Thomas

PS: Heads-up, June 28 is my next available date for coaching. We might be a good fit if you know you need to reconnect with your network and want to make the second half of 2024 when you harness the power of your old and cold connections.

I work with clients to:

• audit their existing networks

• identify gaps and opportunities

• unleash the power of old and cold connections

Just reply to this email if you want to know more.

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